Humming Story
Matthew Ryan Fischer
Helene sat in the back of the rec room at the
nursing home, near the big window. She liked to sit and look outside and feel
the sun on her face, not that she really knew what was going on. She was pretty
far gone and required assistance to do even the most basic of needs. Most of
the workers doubted she had any clue as to what was really happening, even in
the short scattered moments of clarity she occasionally experienced. But she
responded well to sitting in the sun and looking at nature. It kept her calm.
It kept her occupied. She seemed happier when she could see nature. And so the
staff eagerly placed her there as often as they could and just let her sit all
day. She became one less headache for them to manage.
Most of the time Helene just sat quietly and didn’t
bother other people. There were times where she hummed a little tune to
herself. “Da na na nah…Dah…Na.” It
was usually under her breath, but sometimes it got louder when she was
agitated. It was almost as if she thought she was communicating something. No
one recognized the tune, but the staff assumed it was a song from her youth
that meant something special to her. Helene didn’t possess the words to explain
what it was or why she hummed it. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for nursing home
inhabitants to hum, sing or talk to themselves, so no one thought too much of
it. What ever the case, be it dementia, Alzheimer’s, schizophrenia, or any
other affliction that robbed people of being people, they always seemed to
retain music. Even if it was unintelligible nonsense to everyone around them.
“Da na na nah…Dah…Na.”
What was happening in her mind? Where did she think
she was? Was she singing a song from her youth? Was it a pretty world she saw
out that window? Perhaps it was a world of love and beauty with things
forgotten, full of wishes and dreams that came true.
Helene had no friends at the home; she was barely
able to communicate to anyone. Helene had no visitors. It was unknown if she
had any remaining family anywhere. She had been in the home for years and no
one had come looking for her, so it was a bit of a surprise the first time
James appeared.
James told the front desk that he was an old friend
but no one had any real evidence of this relationship. But he was of the right
age and no one worried too much about an old man wanting to see an old woman.
So James sat with Helene and talked at her. He tried
to talk with her, but she never really gave any sort of interaction, so people
that began with talking to her ended up talking at her. Soon the talking turned
to pleading. Then he began to cry. Some of the employees assumed he was possibly
her long lost husband. Others thought he was the former lover or some summer
fling. They all thought it was cute and endearing to see an old man cry over an
old senile woman.
Then James got loud and grabbed Helene.
“Stop! Make it stop!”
He shook her, violently. Orderlies rushed to them
and tried to pull James off her. Suddenly it looked as though the grief had gotten
the better of James and he thought he could cure her by will power or force.
But that wasn’t it. He had no intention of curing
her of anything. It was he that was looking for a cure for himself.
James kept at it – begging, pleading, and throwing
himself back at her.
“Please… Make it stop. You have to make it stop.”
Helene began to hum.
“Da na na nah…Dah…Na.”
A security guard arrived and helped the orderlies
pull James away.
“Please! Just put things back the way they were.”
“Da na na nah…Dah…Na.”
“I know you can do it! I know you can! I just want my life back!”
“Da na na nah…Dah…Na.”
Suddenly
James disappeared. He was gone and it was like he had never been there at all.
What had changed? No one would ever know. The staff didn’t react at all. It was
as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. Helene
just sat in the back of the rec room, looking out the window and humming
a little tune.
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