Day 174 - Window Story

Window Story

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Joshua moved into an apartment complex where a semicircle of townhouses faced inwards towards a common courtyard and recreational area. There was playground equipment for families with children and a swimming pool and a weight room with exercise equipment for the tenants to use. A few blocks away there was a restaurant which featured its own microbrewery. Joshua began walking there after work to have a drink or two and attempt to socialize.

Denise approached Joshua one evening using the opening line that he looked familiar. Joshua had no idea who she was, and so he assumed it was just a standard pick-up line. He knew men said things like that, but he didn’t really know women used the same material. He hadn’t been approached by that many women and had always assumed any woman could get just about any man at any time they wanted simply with a wink or a nod or some other nonverbal suggestive motion. Joshua didn’t know that much about women and it showed. He was hardly ever comfortable talking to them.

Denise insisted she knew Joshua, but she couldn’t figure out where or why or how. But her determination and confidence had a disarming effect which allowed Joshua to become comfortable enough to talk to her. They laughed and flirted and at the end of the night they exchanged phone numbers. Joshua was impressed with himself and more than a little surprised that everything had gone so well.

Over the next few days, it turned out that Denise wasn’t the only woman to approach him, all saying the same thing, that he looked familiar. Joshua wasn’t famous. He knew he hadn’t done anything to make himself known to these women. He knew he wasn’t deserving of their attention or this newfound recognition. Make no mistake, he liked it, he just didn’t understand it.

Joshua enjoyed dancing in his living room, especially after he had had a drink or two. He enjoyed techno beats and pulsing bass. He liked to feel the music. He liked to let it overwhelm him and get lost in the flow of motion. His mind would shut off and his body would work. He would push himself and his muscles to the point of exhaustion. He didn’t do this as exercise; he did this because it was an escape. He escaped the day and nothing else mattered except this flow of activity. He danced until he could dance no more. He would collapse to the ground, muscles sore, his body drained, covered in sweat. Then he would lie there. Then he could actually rest. He needed to push himself beyond the point of collapse in order to be free from the shackles he felt in ordinary life. This reminded him that he was alive and not just some cog in the machine of capitalism. This was how he felt human again.

One night his phone rang. It caught him off guard and broke his Zen-like state. He hated phones for that. He would work so hard to clear his mind and exist only in the moment and then a phone would ring and disrupt everything. It was always a jarring experience.

Joshua answered the phone. It was Denise. For a moment he was excited and happy to hear from her. Then, in a quick moment, she destroyed all that and he could only feel self-conscious and embarrassed.

She had figured out why he looked so familiar to her and to so many other people. His blinds were open. His living room faced the courtyard. Everyone had been watching him dance at night for the last few weeks. Joshua was mortified.