Day 266 - Mail Story

Mail Story

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Alvin stared out his window, waiting on the mailman to pass by his house. He was supposed to receive a package, but he was having trouble actually getting it. He and his mailman didn’t get along. His packages never came in a timely fashion. And so Alvin sat at his window, waiting and watching, hoping to catch the mailman on his route and intercept his package.

They had become enemies, but it was hardly a justifiable grudge. It was a strange thing that Alvin didn’t fully understand. Once, just after moving into his new house, he had been out walking and saw the mailman in his truck. Alvin politely introduced himself and inquired about a package. The mailman doing his job properly was unwilling to tell Alvin if he did or did not have the package, nor was he willing to look through the truck in that moment to search for the package.

This bothered Alvin tremendously. He had been polite. He respected the man’s job, but here he was trying to make the man’s job easier. He was asking for his package. He was willing to take it now and carry it with him on his way home. This would save the mailman time and trouble. Didn’t the mailman understand this? The mailman did not.

Alvin was new to the neighborhood and reasoned that possibly the mailman’s reluctance came because he did not know Alvin yet. Alvin produced his identification to prove he was who he said he was and that he lived where he said he lived. The mailman was unmoved. Alvin went about his walk, and when he returned home he found his package sitting outside his front door.

The package had been delivered. The mailman liked to give himself extra work, it would seem. The problem should have been solved. Alvin should have moved on. Except that he didn’t. He was insulted. He was genuinely bothered as if this had been some great slight. The next time he was expecting a package he waited near the door until he saw the mailman walking towards his house. Then Alvin went out to greet him and accept the package. Alvin acted innocent, but he made sure to mention the previous time they met. He made sure to insinuate that the mailman had been a jerk and needlessly kept his package from him, even if it was protocol and only for a few extra minutes.

Alvin, for his part, needlessly challenged the mailman, and rubbed him the wrong way. The mailman was a bitter man who only had his job because he liked being alone and having the time to deliver his route without having to have human contact. But he had some pride in his work. Alvin insulted him. Alvin basically was saying that the mailman didn’t know how to do his job. That was a step too far.

From that moment on the mailman became the worst mail deliverer in the history of mail deliverers, but only when it came to Alvin’s mail. Alvin’s mail was put on the list and Alvin’s mail suffered insomuch as mail could actually suffer – packages were always late, envelopes were bent or torn. It wasn’t much more than an annoyance. The real kicker was that the mailman stopped dropping off large packages. He would leave notes that said he knocked on the door, but no one was home and Alvin would have to come to the post office to pick it up himself. This was a lie and a sham. Alvin knew he had been home and never heard anyone knock. He also knew that these packages were not signature-required.

Alvin knew the mailman was his enemy. He knew they had an unholy feud fueled by spite and pettiness. He just didn’t have a next step or retaliation figured out. He wasn’t a mad man. He wasn’t going to escalate things to violence or destruction, although he had fantasized about sabotaging the mailman’s mail truck. But that just seemed like a step too far.

Alvin sat at his window and waited and watched. He was a bit paranoid. He was a bit erratic. The whole thing with the mail was making him become a little unhinged. He sat and waited to catch a glimpse, not even sure if his package was really due today or not. The whole thing was spiraling downwards in a bad and ugly way. Alvin just wanted his mail. Instead he was receiving nothing but grief and a package full of madness.