Day 259 - Quitting Story

Quitting Story

Matthew Ryan Fischer

Daniel had never quit a job before and just walked out without giving any notice. He had never been that angry or disrespectful or brave. He always got along with his bosses. He was a hard worker. He believed in the system. He believed there was a right way of doing things.

Daniel was a fairly safe individual. In life, in love, in habits – he was not known as a risk taker.

The day that Daniel quit and walked out with no notice was a seemingly ordinary day. There was no warning that he was going to leave. He hadn’t been getting in fights with co-workers; he hadn’t been reprimanded or passed over for a promotion or anything like that at all. It all seemed mostly unmotivated.

Daniel had never left his home town. In high school he and his friends were all big talkers and big dreamers. They all had plans. The night they graduated high school they sneaked out onto the roof of the school and drank beers and made promises to one another that they were going to go and never look back. Where they were going to go, they weren’t sure. What they were going to do, they were even less sure of. But they knew that they were all meant for bigger and better things.

Daniel didn’t hate his boss, but he sure didn’t respect her. He couldn’t tell what she did. For a long time he supposed that she was actually doing something in her office, but for a large percentage of the time, it seemed like all she did was sign the paperwork that he prepared. He knew that was probably an unfair assessment. It didn’t matter.

Some managers were friendly, some were arrogant or offensive. Daniel’s boss could have a temper and have bad days of impossible standards where all he wanted to do was yell, but really most often she was just as indifferent as he was. She left him alone as long as he mostly did his job right. In many ways that should have made the job easier, but it often made it worse. There was no inspiration. No feeling of team camaraderie. No support or guidance or sense of purpose. There was nothing to make him want to do anything more than the bare minimum of sitting at his desk and doing just enough to not get noticed.

Daniel had a bottle of rum locked in his desk and another one hidden in a storage closet near the back of the building. Once, after a company birthday party he and a co-worker had gone to the storage closet to make out. That was a fun party. That was a fun co-worker. He didn’t know what happened to her after she quit, but he always regretted not finding out or following up with her. He probably should have talked to her more while he was still working with her. He probably should have talked to her more the day after the supply closet incident.

Daniel had never been impulsive or rash. He didn’t like his job, but he didn’t not like it. He had no real other aspirations to speak of. But then one day, he had simply had enough. He found himself sinking lower and lower into his chair. Slouching. Not making eye contact. Feeling nothing while doing ordinary tasks. There was something wrong and something had been lost. Finding out his former best friend from high school had lost a leg in a hit-and-run auto accident didn’t help his disposition either. He had lost touch over the years, but when he heard the news, something snapped inside. Life was too fragile. Life was too short. Life required risk and experience and experiments. He had wanted to live when he was young. He suddenly wanted to live again, right now.

Daniel told his boss goodbye without any explanation. He took nothing from his desk and left no forwarding information. It would all be a complete clean sweep.

He stepped outside the building and felt free. The sun was bright; the day was warm but not hot. There seemed to be an extra special energy in the air. He took all of two steps away from the building before the anxiety struck. He had no savings. He had no idea what he was going to do or where he was going to go. What had felt exciting at eighteen was terrifying now. He became scared and regretted his decision, but was even more scared to go back inside. Daniel stood there for a long moment, frozen. Slowly he took a step forward. He was hungry. He was going to treat himself to something delicious. Perhaps something with cinnamon on it. After that though, he didn’t know what he would do.